Interview with a spammer: between spam and hope
Since it is Sunday I wanted to write something not so serious, so I am going to write part of a fictional interview with a very funny spammer that was originally written in this article: An Interview of Spam and Hope
Although this is nothing more than a fictitious interview, we can rescue several points to learn what things NOT we must do not to be considered spammers.
«Spam is about giving hope, our topics are full of possibilities: recovering hair, contacting aliens, growing genitalia, etc ... In everything we offer we connect people with their hopeful inner child.»
These are the words of Reginal, who started the «Shameless Alliance», a support group where spammers can talk about how being bounced by email systems makes them feel and where they develop innovative ways to use the word "viagra" in a sentence.
Reginald's other goal is to combat the use of the Gmail spam report button. "We hope to organize a protest, but it is difficult because we must hide our identities."
He hopes that those who sympathize with his cause will help him: "Basically if you give people something they are not asking for, I consider you a brother, or even a lover if you earn more money than me." He is currently contacting the person who invented the elevator music and the producer of Pink Panther 2.
Reginald's 5 essential tips for the aspiring spammer:
1) Consider a person's inbox and cell phone as direct lines through which you can communicate
The channels are there, there is nothing to prevent you from reaching people (apart from spam filters and the possibility of having your email account blocked, but those are "minor details" according to Reginald)
"Society is obsessed with the idea of personal space" shared Reginald, who pointed out that worrying about a negative answer is equivalent to negative thinking, for Reginald the secret is in the power of sending your message where someone can read it.
When asked about the power of the "delete" button, he declined to comment.
2) Do not offer links to unsubscribe from the list in the emails you send.
Reginald pointed out that while some tense marketers may suggest including an email to unsubscribe, giving people a choice is not the idea… you, as a seasoned communicator, should control the entire conversation.
3) Buy databases, the bigger the better
"You are going to have to bother a lot of people to find that guy who is going to open the email, he is special and he is worth it ... I believe in the chosen one"
Before people used to leave their email addresses on their websites, but now Reginald found another way to get them from special friends: "Send me your email address and that of your friends and I'll send you a list."
4) I built on people's aspirations
«Find what people want the most and offer it… regardless of whether or not you can fulfill it, the point is that you make them happy for a while. They can even fall twice »
5) Do not answer emails
«You want to give love, you do not want to receive it back, I find that it is better not to make contact with the people to whom I send emails ... it makes me feel like Mother Teresa»
And how does Reginald see the future of spam? «I'm really inspired by swine flu... that thing spreads through the air. I believe that spam should be like that, replicate itself and be available to everyone »
